Thursday, September 11, 2008

Chase

Ok so Chase made a fire again in my house at 6 in the morning before I even knew he was up. SO Jacob tells me. And I tell Chase he's grounded until I decide. (I am so mad I cant even think about how many days) So no TV, no toys, no outside, no nothing basically. SO tonight I am watching Ember and Jaxen. and They brought King Kong well he wants to watch it. I nicely remind him he grounded and ask him if he remembers why. He tells me I made a fire. Yes. I gets mad and walks to his room. (Nicely though, so it was all fine by me) Then he comes out gets a paper and pencil and starts writing...comes up to me a little later and gives me a paper that says "I will not play with fire" over and over. I tell him it very nice but hes still grounded. He walks away again. I start cleaning up dishes from dinner and ....again have to go pee....for the millionth time today. and hear dishes banging and yell from the bathroom for someone to stop getting dishes out. Chase says I'm putting clean dishes away.(Now I am starting to feel the guilt trip) Then he hugs me and says sorry. I tell him again that's nice but he's still grounded. He gets mad this time and stomps to his room. He comes out again and asks what he can do to watch the movie? I stay strong and tell him nothing He made a bad choice and has to deal with the bad consequence. He starts to cry and tells me goodnight hes going to bed because there's nothing for him to do.
I feel really bad but I think I am doing the right thing? but I hate that he is so nice right now but tomorrow he will probably not be.

4 comments:

H said...

I might have caved, but I think you did the right thing. Fires are serious business and you can't replace a house by doing a few dishes. Please tell me I'm not heading into this arsenal.

Monique said...

Hard as it may seem you made the right choice. You need to stick to your decision. As H said, you can't replace a house just like that, that was a serious offense. It deserves serious consequences.

:(

FizixMamma said...

I hope he doesn't do it again but if he does you might need to scare him with a trip to the police station and let them explian how long you go to prison for arson. It sounds really extreme to scare kids like that but he's putting so many people at risk. I'm way impressed that a)you didn't kill him in a pregnancy hormone induced rage and b)you didn't cave later

Rachel said...

Bridget, you are so brave to ask for parenting advice on your blog! I'm not so brave, but since you asked, I love to give it, so here it comes:), I also love to give it b/c it reminds myself of what I need to learn too.

So anyway, I say, no one can answer your question except you. Only you can know what was the loving thing to do in that moment. It's so tricky because sometimes love will look very firm and like, "sticking to our guns" and sometimes from the outside love will look like "giving in" or indulgence.

But it wouldn't necessarily be either. Those are just outward behaviors and how we feel in our heart is how we'll know if we are doing right by our kids. I'm so glad we're promised the whisperings of heaven to point us toward what is the most loving thing to do in each moment with each unique child. We just have to do all we can to to have that spirit in our life and then act with confidence and trust in ourselves and our Heavenly Father.

I say, be strict or be a pushover, if Heavenly Father is behind your decision, either one of those could be right! Chase will feel it and be helped toward goodness.

Have I said that you inspire me? I know I have, but it's really true, thanks for your example.

P.S. You can find my favorite article about parenting, EVER here if you want to read what I think is awesome stuff. Parenting article by Duane Boyce It rocks, and hopefully you'll soon be having a lot of resting/reading time, eh? THREE DAYS! You must just be about ready to pull that baby out yourself! That's how I felt.

Oh and I love this hotline 1-877-705-KIDS at the place I used to work, they can connect you with a child development specialist(who usually has a Master's or PHD!) who for FREE can give you helpful support on something as scary as starting fires.

P.S. How old is Chase now? It's pretty funny (in an of course not funny way) that you're having this problem b/c Davey swears up and down he only wants daughters. The only reason he's ever given me: "Because boys start fires in your garage!"

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